I've got a bad case of Nostalgia

I once read a quote that goes like this:

The world is full of people whose notion of a satisfactory future is, in fact, a return to the idealized past. ~Robertson Davies, A Voice from the Attic

Nostalgia is a funny thing. In some respects it is important to always remember your past, the people you were so fortunate to come across, and the lessons you learned from the many adventures and experiences you encountered. On the other hand, you need to live in today, and not in the longing of what once was or what could have been.

My mom has always said I am an extremely passionate person. Yesterday she again brought home this point when she commented how I love deeply. This passion can be conveyed on anything really--music, hobbies, people. Whatever it is that I decide to love I love with my whole heart. I don't think this is a bad thing, in fact, I consider it one of my talents in life. The only time it becomes a burden is when I am caught up in a flood of memories and can't quite get my feet to touch the ground.

Like tonight. Tonight I went to a movie with a friend, (we saw the "Curious Case of Benjamin Button," which I looooved, for your information) a friend whom I feel like we never got to finish our story due to the different paths our lives were meant to lead. When we get together it's like we are just continuing our conversation, only to be put on hold for who knows how long, or possibly, forever. Why were people like him put in my life? I don't know. I do know, however, that everyone is in our lives for a reason, and further, everything happens for a reason. And for that I am grateful.

Stay up and make some memories with me...

I got to see one of my best friends in the whole world last night. We haven't seen each other for over a year, but the minute we get together it's like the time or space between us never even existed. I guess that's the mark of a true friend.

When everything in your life is changing a million times a minute, it's refreshing to know that some friendships will never fade. Mr. Dave Matthews sums up our friendship with one line, the title of this post.

I love my Catherine Jhung.

J'adore

I miss this place. That's all.

Done and Done.

I did it. I GRADUATED FROM COLLEGE!

After a crazy hectic finals week that I thought would never end, I took my last final EVER on Thursday. After a two-day long process of getting home due to inclement weather, I am now sitting inside my cozy home in Spokane as I look out at the -2 degree, snowy Washington weather that is, in my opinion, beautiful.

Anyway, the point is that I am going to revel in having absolutely nothing to do for a few weeks. College was SO two days ago...

Upward Over the Mountain

This song is getting me through finals.

Listen to it, or don't. But either way it's one of my absolute favorites. Iron and Wine is incredible. This specific song reminds me of being completely content with everything in life--of when life is stress-free, or at least at peace for a short time.



There are 2 songs on here for some reason. Mine is the first one, and ends at 6 minutes. Hope you enjoyed it.

13 miles

I signed up for the Moab Half-Marathon Lottery... and by-golly, I got picked.

awww crap.

The New Fab 4

Sometimes I forget that everyone wasn't raised knowing every single detail about the Beatles and their childhoods, favorite colors, heights, birthdays.... (cough cough). Anyway... tonight I started talking to my two roommates, Jessy and Jaimee, about George Harrison. When all I got was blank looks, I asked "you know, George Harrison? The BEATLE?!?" Still, blank looks. "Don't you guys know the names of the Beatles??"

Jaimee, getting a little excited, then says "Yeah, there's like Steve... Mike... Chris....?"

Now, let me just say that if you didn't laugh out loud thinking about how the Beatles could have been Steve, Mike, Chris, and George, then, well, I guess I really am one of a kind.

[You can read Jaimee's side of the story here]

Tickling the Ivories...

Today I played in my first piano recital in 4 years. Woah! I forgot how nerve racking those things are. It was actually kind of fun though... and I am so glad I took lessons during my last semester. It was good to tune up some of my skills and remind myself why I love the piano so much.

I played two pieces today...

1. Bach - Prelude #17
2. Rachmaninoff - Prelude in C# Minor

Both were fun, but I have to admit... the Rachmaninoff was my favorite. I got to play loud and fast... which, come on, is everything I wanted to do when I started as a wee little one. Which reminds me -- sorry mom for all that piano banging for years upon years... you are a good sport.

Do you want to go to San Francisco this weekend?

This weekend I exercised my right to be spontaneous and took a last-minute trip to San Francisco with my good friend Lauren. We went for reasons that are legit and grown-up, bust mostly we just had a lot of fun.

Playing tourguide at Fisherman's Wharf
Seals at Pier 39. Why not?
I am excited to move back to this.
I LOVE North Beach.
Wowzers
I had to throw this in here -- we definitely saw the Facebook Headquarters in Palo Alto. You are jealous, admit it.
I wish I could live on these streets...
That, right there, is called the Golden Gate Bridge. A real beauty!

A Tag of 29 Things...

FIRST: I hope you like my new festive background! Happy Holidays!!
SECOND: I was tagged! My answers are as follows...

1. Do you get nervous before doctor appointments? YES! I have what you would call a "weak stomach." I hate the doctor -- ok, well maybe not the man, just what he does.

2. What do you think of hot dogs? I think they're great.

3. Favorite Christmas movie? Elf, duh.

4. Do you do push ups? Yeah sometimes, but I don't think they are real push ups.

5. What's your favorite piece of jewelry? Oh goodness... that is tough, considering I love jewelry. Maybe my flower earrings. They are fabulous.

6. Favorite hobby? Snowboarding.

7. Do you have A.D.D.? Yeah, I'll be honest... I have a hard time sitting still for long periods of time.

8. What's one trait you hate about yourself? I get really anxious about things... and then I can't sleep.

9. Middle name? Elise

10. Name 3 thoughts at this exact moment? "I wish the apartment next to mine didn't play loud music and wake me up from my nap... I am looking forward to dinner... Why is there no snow on the ground?"

11. Current worry? When should I move to California?

12. Favorite place to be? Either on top of a mountain, in a foreign country, or snuggled up on a couch with blankets, hot chocolate, and good company.

13. Where would you like to go? Australia/New Zealand, Switzerland, China, Costa Rica, South Africa, France, London, ... the list could go on.

14. Do you own slippers? Of course... I'm obsessed with them. So cozy.

15. What's your nickname? I have many -- Milly, Mills, Millers, Meal Head, Meal Face, Face, Camillio, Jagga, Camizzle...

16. What year would you go back in time to? Probably 1969. I would love to be in the hay-day of hippie-dom and prime Beatles music.

17. Can you whistle? Ha! no. I sound like a dying bird.

18. Favorite color? Green

19. Would you be a pirate? Yes I would. I'm actually related to a pirate... matey.

20. Last thing that made you laugh? My brother-in-law during church. He's goofy and teases me a lot. It's ok though, I can take it.

21. Worst injury you've ever had? Pulled my MCL in my knee during soccer tryouts... hurt like crazy, and has left me with weak knees (literally of course, but also figuratively I guess)

22. Do you remember your first kiss? Of course! That would be weird if I didn't.

23. How many dogs do you have? Zero. I'm not a big dog person... Blame it on me mam.

24. Does someone have a crush on you? That's a weird question.

25. What is your favorite movie(s)?: Across the Universe, Beaches, Pride and Prejudice, What a Wonderful Life

26. What is your favorite candy? Peanut M&M's!!

27. Favorite Sports: To play? Probably soccer, tennis, golf, or rockclimbing (if that is considered a sport)

28. Your favorite meal? Probably dinner. It's the most substantial.

29. Do you have any odd habits? Totally. I pop my knuckles, play with my hair when I'm bored, sing in the shower, am addicted to Diet Dr. Pepper, love yoga, and can absolutely devour a bowl of chips and salsa.

Viva!

Saturday night I saw COLDPLAY live. I honestly don't think I can quite put the experience into words. They probably put on the best show I have ever seen. The lights, the energy, the sound, the playlist, and of course the music was amazing. Maybe the fact that I was literally brought to tears will give you an idea of what that show meant to me.

We had pretty awesome nosebleed seats, but at one point the band played in the middle of the crowd. Jace and I ran up and were able to be approximately 10 feet away from Chris Martin, the love of my life. But unfortunately I didn't have my camera... so this one of Jace and I waiting for the band to come out will have to suffice.

VIVA LA VIDA my friends!

Yippee

3 Happy things today:

1. My parents came into town.
2. I only have 12 days of class left till I graduate.
3. I bought my Snowbird ski pass today. BRING ON THE POWDER!

Brother/Sister go dancing through my head...

Today I am grateful. I am grateful for a lot of things, like warm weather, sleep, seeing old friends, an awesome longboard ride, and good music. But I mostly just want to express how grateful I am for Brittney and Jace, my amazing siblings.

My big sis and little bro are two of the biggest blessings in my life. They have truly become two of my best friends. Sometimes I just consider it a part of life, but when stepping back I realize I am so lucky to have two people like them who I feel that I can say anything to and not be judged. We are honest with each other, which is something I value. They give the best advice, and I know I can talk to them about anything. But mostly, we just have a good time and laugh about stupid things that are not really that funny.

Oh and also, I am grateful for Stuart, the newest addition to the McLaws sibling-ry. (I think I just made up a word, but it's my blog so I can if I want). He is great, and makes us laugh even more than we used to.

Anyway, now that I am officially a cheeseball, I love you guys! Thanks for everything.

"I'm so tired, I haven't slept a wink..."

Random fact about Camille day:

Sometimes I can't sleep. Sometimes I lay in bed for hours with my eyes closed, but I am smart and know that I'm not really sleeping. It's usually caused by my overactive brain that goes crazy the second I lay down. I'm still trying to figure out how to fix it. Tonight, for example, I have tried a lot of things... I have gotten out of bed to get a drink, go to the bathroom, etc. hoping that will get some restlessness out. I have opened the window to let cool air in the room cause I'm really uncomfortably hot. I have opened a book to try and read. And now I have turned to the computer, hoping this will make me tired. But since it hasn't, it is your lucky day and you are now reading a blog post about it.

PS. The picture is of my little brother Jace at about age 2 sleeping, which is something I wish I was doing right now as it is almost 3 am. Maybe a batman suit will fix the problem...

FICTIONIST

Friday night I saw an amazing concert. I LOVE concerts, and this one might be near the top of my list. Fictionist, formerly known as Good Morning Maxfield, rocked the Velour Music Gallery for a couple hours. Literally though, I was rocking out. I could say so much about this concert and the band, but like most things you've got to "see it to believe it." The talent of the six guys on stage is incredible; everytime I see them I am reminded of how music takes me to a place unreachable by anything else. Words cannot explain the feeling.

I think the peak of this show for me was when they played "I want You, She's So Heavy" by the Beatles. It has always been a dream of mine to hear a Beatles song live, and this blew my mind. So, umm... thanks guys. I mean it.

High Tide, Low Tide

When I was little we went on a trip to California. I was born and had been living in Utah, and therefore wasn't too accustomed to the ocean.

My older sister Brittney and my cousin Megan ran out to put their feet in the water and play with the tide a little. "Wait for me!" I shouted as I gleefully ran after them.

Less than a minute later I was hit by a pretty powerful wave, at least for my size and experience, and got pulled under. When I walked back to my mommy and daddy wanting a hug, all I got was a lot of laughing from everyone. I didn't understand why they were laughing, and to this day I still held a slight grudge when remembering the experience or seeing this picture.

However, tonight I saw this picture and started laughing. Now I understand.

Aida

Last night I went and saw "Aida" at the Hale Center Theater in Orem. I have one word to explain this experience: WOW.

I was 110% impressed with this production. The singing, acting, stage props, etc. were all incredible. And if any of you have been to the Hale Center Theater you will know it's an "in-your-face" type of production. My friend and I were on the front row, and therefore approximately 2 feet from the action.

This show just reaffirmed how amazing Elton John is in my eyes... ok ok, he's a little "strange" but, nonetheless, still rocks my world.

Point is... GO SEE IT. You won't regret it.

Rain, I don't mind

It's raining today.

But if you know me even a little you will know that I LOVE THE RAIN. It makes me happier for some reason. Call me weird, but you know, that's just how it goes.

I decided to make today a special day and biked to both classes. I found an odd amount of enjoyment getting my face all wet, so I thought, hmm... maybe I should go on a run. So that's what I did! I ran... and ran... and ran... and then noticed I had been running for over an hour. So, I have thus concluded that my new favorite thing is going for a run in the rain.

Rain + good music + endorphins = happy Camille



Here's a little song about rain for your listening pleasure. One of my favorites for sure.

Canyons, Weddings, and Kitties

GOOD NEWS! My computer is fixed! I decided I would reward the world with a new post.

Life has been super busy lately with all sorts of activities.

I will take you back a few weeks when I went to southern Utah with my Canyoneering class to go through some canyons -- Ding and Dang canyon and Baptist Draw. It was a BLAST. I was reminded that being outside really is my happy place, and that canyoneering is something I could get a little obsessed with. Unfortunately, I think I need to make money first. Here are some pics:

Rappelling down the 80-footer
I made some awesome friends.
I seriously chose the wrong major... Ps. I don't really know what I'm doing in this picture. Whatever.

This last weekend I took a little trip down to Laguna Beach to see one of my best friends in the whole wide world become the new Mrs. Elyse Garlock. The wedding was seriously beautiful, Elyse was traffic-stopping gorgeous, and I was so glad I got to be a part of the festivities. Congratulations Andrew and Elyse!

The new Mr. and Mrs. Garlock coming out of the temple

Elyse looked incredible. So classy.
Coolest cake I've ever seen
Lauren and I. We wore blue.
The bridesmaids in Newport the night before -- What a fun group of girls.

And we can't forget about the holiday where grown ups dress up as weird characters and animals. Seriously bizarre, but totally fun. I was a cat. A black cat, that is.

My roommate Erin and I. Why not dress up as a cat and a pirate?
Meow.

Sale = Happiness

I'm not the world's biggest shopper, but I too get really excited about a good deal every now and again. Last night my sister and I went up to Thanksgiving Point to benefit from this sale Downeast Outfitters was having. No, this was not just your regular sale. The whole barn was FILLED with J-Crew clothes all under $25. It was a shopping frenzy as people were sifting through boxes of expensive clothes that are finally cheap.

I scored big, getting a dress, a blazer, two sweaters, two leather belts, and 3 shirts for under $90. I won't need to go shopping again all winter! So, if I haven't convinced you enough that you need to be there -- GO! It ends tonight at 7. That's right, leave your computer now and shop away!

Hugs are Good, just not for computers.

For all of you friends of mine that lost sleep over my computer debacle, I thought I would put your mind at ease.

I went to Best Buy last night with a receipt to prove I bought it there. After asking one question of how it happened, the nice man at the desk just said "ok, sign here to prove you let us take your computer. It will be fixed within 2 weeks!"

It all happened so fast, and I am without my laptop for a bit, but oh well. Whatever it was that happened made me happy.

The end.

A Series of Unfortunate Events...

I write this sad tale from the desktop computer at my work.

Why would you do that, Camille? You have your own laptop! Well here's why:

Today I was leaving work and walking to class and ran into one of my favorite people in the world. She gives incredible bear-hugs. I guess she loves me so much that her squeeze broke my computer LCD screen. I didn't discover this till I open my computer in class and find a blank white screen with a big black spot that looks like ink. Tear.

So now I am in the market for a third party company that won't charge me an arm and a leg for repairs. I bought the computer on sale for $800 -- HP wants to charge me $700. YEAH RIGHT! So if you smart computer people have any recommendations you would be my new favorite person. A wanted position I know...

Love Is All You Need

This is a plaque my dear friend Rachel Young made me for my birthday. I love it. On it is a statement trite but true. I think those 4 guys in the 60's were on to something.

The world is crazy right now. With the crazy economic situation, presidential elections, and just modern living in general, it's easy to get caught up in the stress and forget what's important.

All I need in life is family. I need friends. I need days like today when I wake up and see blue sky, fresh snow on Timp, and the changing colors of the leaves. But most of all, all I need in life is LOVE. Love really is all you need.

An Adventuresome List

Wow, nothing like a blog break, eh?

Apparently school is busy... and I'm pretty sure I did NOT sign up for that this semester.

But life is good. I have been reminded of this fact so many times in the last 3 weeks. There really is someone looking out for me.

This is my last semester at BYU, and I am trying to take advantage of every little opportunity to make it the best semester ever. And you know what? I am. I have been having a BLAST. I have a mental checklist of things I want to do in Provo before I leave this next year. I have already done a few... Last night I hiked the Y again, just for old times sake, and last weekend I finally hiked Timp!!! It was a beast of a hike, I will be honest, but I am SO glad I did it. And plus, it just gave me another excuse to hang out with my sister. Now when I look at it out my window I can say "yup, I've been up there." What a cool feeling.

Here's a short list of some things I want to accomplish:

• Hike Y Mountain (no, not the Y, to the TOP of the mountain)
• Go to hobbit-ville
• Camp at Zions National Park
• Go backcountry skiing
• Hike Squaw Peak
  
• Go to Havasupai (finally)
• Learn how to play raquetball
• Go rockclimbing in Provo Canyon
  

I am up for more adventures to accomplish. And you are more than welcome to come along.

Oh Rise and Shout the Cougars are Out

There is only one word to describe yesterday's game against UCLA: AWESOME.

Honestly, I've never been one of those people who knows everything at games... I like to pretend though, as I throw in appropriately-timed "hoorahs!" and "go teams!" Yesterday was a different story, however. I was on the edge of my amazing seat (that's right--50 yard line 8 rows up). I even made it on TV!

Anyway, this is just a big shout out to my wonderful cougars. Way to beat those Bruins 59-0, and to give them the biggest shut out they have had in 75 years.

rah rah rah rah rah GOOOOOOO COUGARS!

A Friday Treasure

Halloween is always an exciting time for a kid. For us, it was not only because we got to dress up as a ballerina, vampire, or punk-rock star with really big bangs, but because we got to see our dad as a big, gray bunny rabbit.

9/11: 7 Years Later

It's September 11th.

Today I feel blessed to be a part of such an amazing country where I am free to think what I want to think. But days like today also remind me of the impending stress and pressure on our country.

7 years has passed since America received their big wake-up call. That day will live so vividly in every American's memory. I was walking out of seminary, and a girl shouted "the white house has been blown up!" This wasn't true, as we all know. As soon as I got to school a few minutes later there were projectors with CNN reporting the latest; I stood in shock as I watched the second plane hit the second tower. Wow. I will never forget that feeling.

It's important to remember. What were you doing when you found out?

No DMB for Me

It's official: The Dave Matthews Band concert in Utah is CANCELED. About two weeks ago the website informed me it was "postponed" because the funeral for Leroi Moore, the saxophone player who died suddenly, was on the same day. This is a dark day in the life of a Dave fan.

I am really sad inside, not just because I don't get to see my favorite band rock the stage, but because this is the first summer since freshman year that I will not see Dave. It's like the end of an era. College days are coming to a close! I officially hate growing up.

So, in remembrance of the many amazing times I have had at the FOUR Dave shows I have seen, here are some pics from the many blessed hours I spent waiting in the hot sun to get a good seat. Oh the life of a Dave fan...

Show #1 was at USANA with Brittney freshman year. I don't have any digital pics. No worries, though. It was my first Dave show, and therefore an absolutely incredible experience.

Show #2 at the Gorge with Emily and Amanda, sporting the new Dave-wear. I believe this is the show Jace and I showed up to the Gorge at 9:45 am. Sigh...
Show #3 at USANA with Emily. We were the second car in the parking lot. You may laugh, but we also got front row GA seats to witness the best playlist I ever experienced. Thanks again, Dave, for playing "Bartender" for me.
Show #4 at the Gorge with Jace and Cathy, still managing to have a good time while waiting in line. You meet some pretty cool people in these lines... Dave fans are like an extended family.
Proof that waiting in line is worth it.

Has it Been 18 Months Yet?

Tonight I went to a "Welcome Home" party for a friend who just got back from her mission in Japan (yay Natalie!) Now I am thinking only one thing -- I'm ready for Emily to come home! I miss that girl like a fat kid on a diet misses cake... or something?

At a football game during the first week of freshman year...

THE WHIZ KIDS. Bring back memories anyone??

Provo says "Hi Jace!"

It's September which means Provo is once again inundated by thousands of little cougars excited to start a new semester or begin college all together. One such freshman student is my brother: JACE GARRETT McLAWS!

That's right! All three McLaws' children (and Stu) are now living within 5 blocks of each other in Provo, Utah. I am so pumped to have Jace on campus with me for my last semester. We already bonded in the library today... this is going to be great.

Bringing Jace to Provo also meant a weekend with the 'rents! We had a blast. With Mom and Dad here, us four poor college students benefitted from the good food, some needed Wal-Mart and Target trips, and a fun trip to Park City. Thanks again for everything guys!

Some proud parents and a new cougar
Dad and his Daddy's Girl
She hates me taking pictures of her, but who can resist? She's too pretty.
This is how I feel about starting a new semester. Can anyone say senioritis??

It was a fun Labor Day weekend. Even though I am sad for my parents that they had to go home to a very quiet house, I feel lucky to be here with my siblings. This is going to be a great last year!

A Day of Thanks

I woke up today with an array of feelings inside--happy, anxious, excited, nervous, sad, scared, longing, and contentment. And then, as I was reading a friend's blog entry, I was hit by a ton of bricks. I have SO MUCH to be grateful for! So that's what I'm writing about... things that I am grateful for today.

The list, which is no where near complete and in no particular order, goes as follows:

- A sister who is honest with me, sincere in her advice, and willing to listen.
- Sunshine
- Music
- A good night's sleep
- Banana pancakes
- A new apartment, with new roommates, and new adventures just waiting to happen
- BYU, and the opportunity I have to be a student here
- My Dad and his wonderful example of what a father should be
- A clean room... finally
- My brother who is coming down to BYU tomorrow!
- Inspired words
- Diet Dr. Pepper
- A mom who always answers the phone in a cheery voice
- Trials, and the strength that comes from them
- Patience
- My new longboard
- Friends
- The church, and the peace I find through it.

In light of the fact that my friend Kayla's words were so eloquent and perfectly phrased, I will simply quote from her blog. Enjoy!

When I feel like life should be simple, as if one day my textbook will make sense, as if one day I can love again and be loved, as if one day I could dry my family's tears, as if one day I didn't think about the cost, or as if one day I can make a difference in the world...when I feel like life could be that simple, I realize the Maker's Hand and I understand everything, everything is greater than my all... there is a power beyond my best, a power above all the rest.

So when I am weak, when I am down, when I am ready to kiss the ground the Lord steps in. I can only understand so much in this life. Whether or not I call it fate, misguided hope, unrelenting desire...it will work out in the end. If I follow the Maker's Hand.

King's Peak!

First of all, I wanted to thank everyone for their comments to my last blog. Last week totally sucked, and being reminded of the amazing friends and family I have been blessed with is a huge comfort. I love you guys.

On that note, I just wanted to report on the awesome weekend I had!! I got to GET OUT and be out in NATURE... which is my most favorite thing in the world. Three friends and I made the 4 hour drive to the High Uintas to begin a 26 mile backpacking trip to the top of King's Peak--the highest point in Utah. (The picture to the right is a picture of the peak, but with snow on it. I didn't get one of the peak from far away, so you can thank google for that image).

I will be the first to admit that this hike was incredibly hard, at least for me. There's something about hiking with a 40+ pound pack and being above 10,000 feet that makes hiking a little hard. I thought I was going to die on the final hour to the top of the summit, which reached an astounding 13,528 feet. My stubborn self was not going to let the fatigue get to me! I MADE IT!!!!

Allie, me, Andrew, and Josh about half-way up to the summit. Almost dying.

A view from the top! This was the type of view I was surrounded by for 3 days. Ah-may-zing.

Proof we made it

Anyway, that was my weekend. It was hard, I am sunburnt, I can't lift my left leg higher than two inches off the ground, and I have a huge pack covered in dust that I still need to unpack...but it was SO WORTH IT.